★☆☆☆☆ One Star Amazon Review
Detta var en post som fick mig att läsa boken Aloha from Hell:
"Richard Kadrey Nov 17, 2011
Since none of you would step up and a write a one star review of Aloha From Hell on Amazon I had to do it myself. Personally, I think every author should write his or her own one star. Who knows why a book sucks better than the author Aloha From Hell by Richard Kadrey
Reviewed by Sexy An0nym0us 666
Who taught this guy to type? Who let him own a computer? Reading Aloha From Hell is like being punched in the face by a deranged orangutan. Your reddened eyes will swell up from the pain but that's nothing compared to the stink. I'm tempted to say that Aloha From Hell makes no sense but that would imply it ever contemplated making sense in the first place. The book reads like the author hit his keyboard with a claw hammer until it fell apart and then did a spell check. After destroying 40 or 50 keyboards, Kadrey printed out the mess, wrapped it in a Level 4 hazmat suit, duct taped it closed and hired a string of out of work day laborers to hump the caustic mess to New York. Each link in this human chain of misery would hand off the vile packet to the next poor slob when his skin began to dissolve from the concentrated evil in the demonic bundle. Kadrey's books shouldn't be remaindered. They should be tried in The Hague as crimes against humanity.
After reading Aloha From Hell I developed psoriasis, impetigo, arthritis, gingivitis, pink eye, insane bowel syndrome, 24 hour Ebola, and projectile flatulence. I've been plagued by poltergeists, imps, succubae, a banshee with a stutter, and a racist leprechaun. I've been audited, mugged, divorced, and molested by a census taker in a Jay Leno mask and jodhpurs.
I beg of you, don't read Aloha From Hell. Forget the title. Forget the author. Forget you even read this review. Trephination is your only hope"
Jag bara måste läsa den, eller hur? Dessutom är det trean i hans Sandman Slim serie, tidigare rec här.
När jag försökte leta upp recensionen verkar det som om Amazon tagit bort den men jag hittade den här istället.
Den är nästan ännu bättre
"I was assigned to read this book by my church group [...] This sort of abomination should not be available to the public. [...] It was incredibly difficult for me to read this book because I had to stop and pray often in order to fight the demon spirits that emerge from the printed words. [...]
Please I beg you, do not buy this book in any form and do not allow it to be printed again!! The book itself is a portal to a dark but alluring realm that results in certain death for your pure immortal soul. I hesitate to say anything remotely positive about this book, but I must commend the author's knowledge of firearms. As a gun enthusiast myself I could related to the details of the weapons."
Angående författaren säger han att Kadrey är ett freak, luktar illa och har ett ärr. Detta är uppenbara bevis på att han a) är djävulens hantlangare på jorden eller b) tempo och intensiteten på cons där han brukar dyka upp är som tempo och stress är mest: perspirationsdrivande?
Själv kan jag inte uttrycka mig bättre än tidigare recensenter: Läs boken, den är intensiv, svavelosande och störtskön!
"Richard Kadrey Nov 17, 2011
Since none of you would step up and a write a one star review of Aloha From Hell on Amazon I had to do it myself. Personally, I think every author should write his or her own one star. Who knows why a book sucks better than the author Aloha From Hell by Richard Kadrey
Reviewed by Sexy An0nym0us 666
Who taught this guy to type? Who let him own a computer? Reading Aloha From Hell is like being punched in the face by a deranged orangutan. Your reddened eyes will swell up from the pain but that's nothing compared to the stink. I'm tempted to say that Aloha From Hell makes no sense but that would imply it ever contemplated making sense in the first place. The book reads like the author hit his keyboard with a claw hammer until it fell apart and then did a spell check. After destroying 40 or 50 keyboards, Kadrey printed out the mess, wrapped it in a Level 4 hazmat suit, duct taped it closed and hired a string of out of work day laborers to hump the caustic mess to New York. Each link in this human chain of misery would hand off the vile packet to the next poor slob when his skin began to dissolve from the concentrated evil in the demonic bundle. Kadrey's books shouldn't be remaindered. They should be tried in The Hague as crimes against humanity.
After reading Aloha From Hell I developed psoriasis, impetigo, arthritis, gingivitis, pink eye, insane bowel syndrome, 24 hour Ebola, and projectile flatulence. I've been plagued by poltergeists, imps, succubae, a banshee with a stutter, and a racist leprechaun. I've been audited, mugged, divorced, and molested by a census taker in a Jay Leno mask and jodhpurs.
I beg of you, don't read Aloha From Hell. Forget the title. Forget the author. Forget you even read this review. Trephination is your only hope"
Jag bara måste läsa den, eller hur? Dessutom är det trean i hans Sandman Slim serie, tidigare rec här.
När jag försökte leta upp recensionen verkar det som om Amazon tagit bort den men jag hittade den här istället.
Den är nästan ännu bättre
"I was assigned to read this book by my church group [...] This sort of abomination should not be available to the public. [...] It was incredibly difficult for me to read this book because I had to stop and pray often in order to fight the demon spirits that emerge from the printed words. [...]
Please I beg you, do not buy this book in any form and do not allow it to be printed again!! The book itself is a portal to a dark but alluring realm that results in certain death for your pure immortal soul. I hesitate to say anything remotely positive about this book, but I must commend the author's knowledge of firearms. As a gun enthusiast myself I could related to the details of the weapons."
Angående författaren säger han att Kadrey är ett freak, luktar illa och har ett ärr. Detta är uppenbara bevis på att han a) är djävulens hantlangare på jorden eller b) tempo och intensiteten på cons där han brukar dyka upp är som tempo och stress är mest: perspirationsdrivande?
Själv kan jag inte uttrycka mig bättre än tidigare recensenter: Läs boken, den är intensiv, svavelosande och störtskön!
Kommentarer
Postat av: Pål Eggert
Verkar nästan vara något slags antireklam. Recensionerna är så vältaliga i att beskriva hur fel boken är att man verkligen känner för att läsa den. Och om någon i någon "kyrkogrupp" inte gillar den så blir man ju, ja, alltid lite taggad.
Postat av: Anna
Har funderat på att påbörja Sandman Slim-serien ett tag, men nu måste jag definitivt göra det. Speciellt recension nummer två var väldigt övertygande.
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